Flaws!

"Hey I heard you are having quite a troubling time .. why so?"

You think someone is going to ask that...lol

HA      HA        HA

Welcome to the world, Newbie! 

(Opps! you seem to be that familiar tired old soul..)

You have ripples in your heart for you never saw this coming from this person. Again, Ha Ha ha.

Come on.. what have you been taught all your life. What did all those lessons in childhood stood for? Gosh! You are  such an idiot. Dumb person, you don't even remember those school lessons. What kind of being are you? You have been given the same lesson by different teachers(!) at all stages of your life quite generously and you have not still learnt. . 

Quite sad, really. For it is necessary for you to understand that ultimately no one gives a damn. And that you have to learn to take it easy. Come on, the person was laughing and playing when he/she said those words. How the fuck could you take them to your heart? And if you are going to do that, no one can save you from the pain.

Oh, don't you remember that you need to put words that people  speak while laughing on the super-highway that passes straight-away from one ear to the other? Why didn't you do that! Any sane person will do that . . irrespective on the person on the other side. Oh! sad that you expected something different from this person. Too early to put so much faith. (Eager might have been a better word). Or should I say it does not matter about the time but irrespective of it, this was a utopia. You would have never achieved it, believe me.  But, again faith is generally misplaced. Also, how come you think of such an entitlement.. you insane human being! We are all humans out here and no one is bothered what words affect whom in what way. They might think of it for a few moments (Generosity on their part!) but it is you are bound to be left in your cave of insecurities which is dampened by your tears. It was your folly, now you deal with melancholy.

Moreover, if after a point you could not keep it in anymore.. O poor creature! What would you do now? 

Hmm...Paper love. Write, write. Exhaust yourself by expressing. What? You want to let the person know how you feel..? Err... (Wait! A little subtle ha   ha   ha). Go on, tell. As if, this would change anything. Why the fuck are you even thinking people bother to care? You would not have either, or would you or do you? Sorry for the language. It's okay if you hate me for this. I can't speak sweet words when what I feel is this. Come on, don't give a fuck to what I or anyone else says and does at such important times. 

Then again, two questions arise - (a) So should a fuck be given when times aren't important, and the more fundamental one (b) Is there a time that is not important? I guess, for sane people it is so. But, I understand that you have never been sane enough to specify particular times for particular activities, or smart enough to separate professional life from personal life or for that matter cool enough to laugh at your flaws (reservations). Come on, Grow up! This isn't the way to deal with a problem in your life. If you would let any random thing to interfere in your life like this, then you are not going to have any life at all!

You won't be long around, believe me, if you continue to think that you should not try to hurt others.  But, again, yea.. why should you? Hurt people hurt people. Aren't you hurt? Oh! You try not pass it on. Or joke about them for you try to be conscious of the fact that you don't know what they might be going through in their everyday life, what battles they might be fighting silently without asking for help.  You are a mortal human. Don't you try to forget that! At one point sooner or later, you are bound to break down so bitterly and mercilessly that not even the most loving souls on earth would be able to put back your tarnished shattered pieces together. If I am not wrong in my analysis you have quite a lot of cracks as medals in(side) your chest. Sometimes, even I wonder what keeps you still breathing...

Anyway, my time is important. You fuck with your life newbie. I am done telling you to be rational and logical in every step of your life. You never listen to me and by doing so, you are digging your own grave. It is time you listen to me and be an individual with an identity and keep yourself as your top ( or should I say only) priority. Things are bound to happen. And that's the way of life. You can't hold on to grief and pain by paying re-visits to everything that has gone wrong to this date. There is no one you should or can blame. No one can hurt you if you don't give them the permission. You are responsible for everything that happens in your life, remember this. 

Try to be away from people till you are not well learnt in the art and science of  not giving a damn. But again, I hope the next time someone says something about you that you feel going in a direction you don't want, say a loud FUCK YOU in your head (:P) and SMILE and leave the conversation midway to let the person know that you really don't care what people think about you.

You yourself deserve your love and attention as much as and perhaps, much more than anyone else. And always, always remember in the end, all you have is yourself- to laugh, to cry, to break, to build and to love. Be gentle, be humble. Don't hurt anyone. But, never do anything or let anyone do anything that costs you your peace of mind. 

For as Aibileen Clark says in the movie The Help:
"You is kind. You is smart. You is important."  :)

-Rashmi

26.11.2017

(on a incident that happened on 23rd Nov, 2017)