Don't see

Just some rumblings.. could not keep inside..

Not feeling good for myself. Or relationship or gor that matter about carrer or anything.... Probably it's because I don't love myself...And i have low self esteem. There is always this need to do something but always this laziness if Not doing anything. The fear of people knowing and looking at me with questioning looks and that they always knew I would be alone.. why do i feel being alone?

1. Because I have felt the need of someone to fill those holes that I am unwilling to.

2. Because even when I am ook kay and can be fine or may be enjoy the solitude..In order to be a part of society I need to have someone..The reason why it feels awkward to go to a social event alone.. and that's how ironically it has been ..

3. Sometimes I think all this is shit . And I am only making myself more miserable..

4. I have kept myself so clueless.. by watching sitcoms, movies, anything...Just staying alone but not able to accept the silence..It feels unbearable and I feel like going numb or running away from all this...But I lack courage..

5. It is only one or at most two people who understand it. And know how to make me feel better..

I miss you neelu. I miss you so much.

~~~~💐