Evernote's blast from past relevant to present

This is something I found on my Evernote this morning as I am scrolling my phone, trying to be okay with not being okay. Trying, asking if I shall become better? Because it is just so hard at times.. despite everything you do. The thing perhaps is, as my doctor says, you cannot know what others think, ever. . Because there are things in the subconscious that they also don't know. Among the stop signs I am asked to signal at my thoughts and breathing and more tricks that I involve my brain in, I sometimes manage to think I am normal, but the illusion fades .. sometimes the mirror crashes.

Meanwhile, here is something, as I foolishly hope for someone to show an iota of care again. . to come back. If life is all about these lessons, I don't actually feel like existing. 

Anyway, here is the piece:

Everyone you try to tell something about it, says it will be over. That it might not be normal again, but you will survive, you will know how to live and how to lobe yourself..

The thing is, we want to be unique. Maybe, in our suffering, if we suffer more, we will be so. So destroyed, because xyz dared to love someone so much. That's what fables and tales are, right?

I mean, sometimes a faint vision of reality will appear in the sad cocoon that you have weaved. It will show that noone is out there looking out for you, for they are above all the things, practical. They have taught themselves how to live alone, and how to be fine and happy with oneself. You might want to hope and keep hoping that they will think leaving you was a mistake, that theu will make an iota of effort towards you, but in all these hopes, you are making the same rookie miatake, you have made all these years. There is no one so impractical and irrational, people are practical, and more so, even you are. After a point, you will also be there, if not now.

That is a sad realisation. I know. When the world changes, you still get to blame the world but who do you put the finger towards when you are the one who changed? Life will streamline you, like it has done to others. That's the system. That's the factory. That's the assembly line set-up. And you, despite all your believes of uniqueness, are just about the same product.

-Rashmi

23 Aug 2021

01:24 am