Me, Varkala & the Sea

April 4th, 2021                                                                                                         Varkala, Kerala 

Slowly, life will lead you to calmer spaces.. in that you won't be without chaos but things will be moving so much, so fast that there will be less of you in your life. It is of spirals and infinities, which you keep falling into or trying to reach, however, the good thing is there will be sand, stars and the sea. 

Like slow cooked mutton, that leaves the bone as soon as it is touched, one day maybe, there will be a Eureka moment, for this as well as such others, and you will seem to understand more. Maybe, the years and experiences will add to you and to me, and somewhere we will be mature to understand and accept it all.

There will be a bitter-sweet pain instead of hurt and anger, the ones like we have around our neck & shoulders, or the one at lower back, or in legs after walking so much... The kind of ones which are are uncomfortable with, but also familiar enough to not take medicines or run to a doctor. The kind of ones that we sit down with after long days in evenings, alone at our room, caressing over them, understanding and marking areas that pain but have no visible scars .. and for which we have ointments, massage oils and hot water bags, which we apply over ourselves in an act of unconscious and necessary self love, as we sit in loneliness or solitude, whatever you call it, somewhere wishing if there were more than just your hands.. and yet, continuing the rub listening to old songs, the ones that hold you up and sometimes, secretly, the ones you call your guilty pleasures.

Perhaps, being an adult is like this. 

Perhaps, more is to continue adding to this list. I hope we have ourselves and the kind of support we need, and I hope that we keep reminding ourselves, that "this too shall pass."

Cheers to the amusement that we are, and our lives are!

At last, as Isak Dinesen put it out for all of us,

"The cure for anything is salt water — sweat, tears, or the sea."

 

I may not ever understand all that there is.. nor will this be the end of gloom, yet, here is a thank you to the universe or multiverse maybe, for whatever we go through and grow through.. for there were days I wasn't so sure.

                                                                                                        

Love,
Rashmi :)

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Written on April 6th, 2021 -- from my room in the first apartment that I have in Trivandrum. :):