Existence-less (1/2)

 Yea. . that's a new word I am trying to use. That's how it sometimes feel.

Four years back, this time of the day, I was with someone I had been closest to till now. To me it was a wonderful time. Not that I knew what follows, but there is a particular happiness around newness that is loving and caring. I have kept thinking of this day ever since, every year. And even if, nothing remains in that same way, I .. I am unable to let go. Ah, it's a sadness that comes with happiness that was and cannot be forgotten. It does is a curse to remember, especially when perhaps no one does, and no one cares. 

If you understand, you do, if you don't, you don't. There is nothing to be sorry about it, or is there? Should we give up so easily on people, like they don't matter much? Or is it something that one has no choice on, as they love saying it, "it is what it is." Well, you know, I agree, that you cannot be angry on someone for not loving you, you cannot hold them guilty for that. . even if there would be moments you would want to. But, girl, it is what it is. You can still stand on the road, hoping that they feel the turn to be a wrong one, or atleast coming back once and for all, or atleast once. You would still believe that the promises made for may still hold. . but maybe, it was never supposed to. Maybe, among ... 

(entry ends.. for heart and eyes are full)

01:something am

15th Oct 2021

-R